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Fic: Power

Title: Power
Characters/Pairing: Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, James Potter
Story Rating: R
Word Count: ~5,160
Summary:  What is compromise? Is it when you do something for somebody else? Is it when somebody else does something for you? Is it a bargain, a deal, something you share? Is it helping someone else, while taking something away from you? Does it help you or hurt you? Or is compromising just something friends or lovers need to do to keep each other happy?
Warnings:  Slash and making a fool out of one's self, performed by Sirius Black.  Oh and angst/fluff/hurt-comfort/FLUFF
Notes:  This is one of my oldest stories, and because I'm going to try to archive all of my old (and halfway-decent) fics here, I decided to post this one first.  Here it is, hope you enjoy it!  (And be careful that the fluff doesn't kill you xD)

 What is weakness? Is weakness letting him walk all over you, day after day? Is it not having the courage to tell him ‘no’ every time he takes advantage of you? Maybe it’s pretending not to see him when he’s snogging a different boy or girl. Could it be always believing him when he tells you that the others don’t matter; that you’re the only one for him? Is weakness falling in love with your best mate? Or is it just not being strong?
Questions form in Remus Lupin’s head as he watches the boy of his dreams. Padfoot’s eyes sparkle silver while he talks to James about their next prank. Remus just nods his head whenever they ask his opinion. How do they expect him to concentrate while Sirius looks like that? He’s in a thin, white muscle shirt and red boxers with pink hearts. Remus had bought Sirius those boxers for Valentine’s Day last year. He remembers that night; the first night he’d been shagged by Sirius. He can recount slipping those very same boxers off of Sirius’s hips and lowering down his head. He could still hear the moans that both he and Sirius let out that night; just the thought of it aroused Remus.
“Hey, Earth to Moony…” he hears the sexy, low voice of his lover. Sirius walks over to him and sits right beside Remus on his bed. “You know…” he starts, “I think you’ve got something on your neck. How the bloody hell did you get chocolate on your neck Remus?   Let me get that for you.”
Sirius tackles Remus and starts licking his neck. He hears Remus grunt with joy as James roars with protest; “Common guys, I’m sitting right here!” Sirius doesn’t care; James had seen them snog before. He continues to suck on Remus’s skin as he moves up towards his mouth. When he finally makes it, he presses his hips into Remus’s and shoves his tongue into the slightly smaller boy’s mouth. He enforces just enough pressure to tell Remus you are mine, I am not yours. Remus complies and let’s Sirius do the work. 
They hear James complaining as he leaves the dormitory when he sees Sirius’s hand slide down to grab Remus’s crotch. Sure, it was outside of his pants, but James knows that once Sirius starts, he won’t quit until he finishes. No matter what Remus thinks; it is all about Sirius. James knows that it always was and always will be that way. He can’t deal with watching this sort of thing between his two best friends, so he brings his homework down to the common room and hopes that he won’t be able to hear the groaning from upstairs.
Remus knows that he needs to stop Sirius…he’s used him one too many times. He can’t let Sirius do this to him anymore. But as Sirius’s mouth is kissing the scars on his stomach, Remus realizes that he should just let Sirius have his fun. He is having fun as well, of course, but he knows that he will just end up getting hurt.
He looks down and watches Sirius fumble with the zipper on his trousers and slide them off. Sirius, already having no pants on, just throws off his boxers and flips Remus over so that he is upside down. With each thrust from the back, Remus gasps and lets out a slow sigh, occasionally screaming out Sirius’s name in pleasure.
Remus wakes up to find the bed empty, again. I should’ve known, he thinks to himself as he gets dressed. One half of Remus wants to find Sirius, but half of him doesn’t. Remus knows where he is; he’s snogging the Hufflepuff boy or groping the Ravenclaw girl in the Room of Requirements. Sirius knows that Remus hates being cheated on, but he doesn’t care. He likes being, in a sense, the Quaffle while Remus is the chaser. Once in a while, he lets Remus have him (even thought it’s usually him having Remus), but whenever he’s not with Remus, he’s scoring points with somebody else. 
Remus tried to cheat back on Sirius, sometimes finding himself snogging Snivellus just to make Sirius angry. It never works, though. Sirius keeps his cool and smirks at Remus as though he hasn’t a care in the world that the boy he loves is making out with the person he loathes most.
The worst of it is when Remus confronts Sirius, just as he’s going to do now. He feels himself become weak. He always gives in to his lover even though Remus is the one who ends up wounded. Remus starts walking to the seventh floor, lost in his thoughts about Sirius and his own weakness.
When he finally reaches the door, he thinks “I need to get to Sirius,” three times and a door suddenly appears. Remus walks in with false confidence and sees the Hufflepuff boy. Not knowing his name, Remus just points and yells, “You. Out. Now!” The boy unhinges his mouth from Sirius’s and leaves quickly.
Sirius looks at Remus, anger flaring in his eyes. “What the bloody hell did you do that for?” he yells. Remus stands his ground as Sirius stomps over to him.
“Why do you do this, Sirius? Why can’t you just love me like you say you do? Why do you always have to have somebody else? Am I not good enough for you?” The words feel like they’re coming from somebody else’s mouth; Remus isn’t used to speaking like this to Sirius. Sirius isn’t either…
“Are you mad?” he asks, “You know that nobody matters to me but you! You know how much I love you, Moony.” He sounds defensive, as if Remus has insulted him.
“How the hell do you reckon I know that when all you do is fool around with other girls and better looking guys?” Remus paces around the room as he fumes.
“I just like having fun,” Sirius tries to sound convincing and serious, both of which he incapable of doing. “But you’re not just for fun, like the others are, Moony. I love you so much.” Sirius pulls Remus into a tight hug and doesn’t let go until Remus reluctantly hugs him back. “I love you so much, Moony.” Sirius repeats this over and over while he kisses Remus’s neck, cheek, ears, and finally his lips.
Remus has no choice; he never does. He kisses Sirius back, remembering how in love with him Remus really is. He smells delicious, like Chocolate Frogs and the Fire Whisky that he so often drinks. His mouth tastes bitter, just as Remus knows it will. “You drink too much, Sirius” he whispers into Padfoot’s ear in between nibbles.
“And you don’t drink at all, love.” As if Remus doesn’t know this…Sirius grabs Remus’s face and tells him to “Stick out your tongue”. Remus obliges, as usual, and Sirius wraps his mouth around his toy’s tongue. He flicks his own at his friend’s and sucks on it.
Sirius likes to do this a lot as Remus knows. It makes him feel powerful, Remus reckons, Sirius always needs to be in control.
Unlike you, Remus thinks to himself, still being groped by Sirius, you are weak. You let this boy walk all over you and at the end of the day, what do you do? You take him back. You let him do it all over again. He lied to you, you know? He might not love anybody but you, but the others do matter to him. He wouldn’t go after so many if he cared about you that much. He would stay loyal and be faithful to you no matter what. But he isn’t. He will never be.
What is strength? Is strength being mean to others, just for the fun of it? Is strength being able to control other people and make them do what you want? Is strength having the ability to make him keep in love with you? Is it cheating on him just to make him want you more? Is being strong having to put aside the feelings of jealousy when you see him snogging somebody else, trying to get your attention? Nah…the definition of strength is just me. 
Sirius thinks this smugly to himself all the time. He knows that everybody wants him—everyone loves him. Remus loves him, Peter loves him, even Lily loves him. Well, she loves him and a couple others (Snivellus and Potter, for example.), but him as well. Sirius’s little toys from different houses all love him. They don’t admit it; nobody but Remus ever does. But Sirius knows that they all have feelings for him, no matter how often they tell him that it’s “just for fun”. 
But are they all just for fun?  Sirius wonders, Do I lie to Remus when I tell him that he’s the only one for me? He has no idea what the answer is; do the others actually matter to him? Probably not. All that Sirius knows is that he has feelings for Remus that he’s never had before. He wants Remus all the time, no matter who he’s with. 
Sirius’s biggest fear is that Remus will stop loving him someday. That’s why Sirius has to keep playing hard to get. If he gives all of himself to Remus, Sirius will just be forgotten. If he keeps playing with Remus’s mind, Remus’ll have a much better chance of staying with Sirius, of continuing to love Sirius. If Sirius messes around with countless numbers of boys and girls, Remus will become more and more jealous and will never let go. 
Oh yes…Sirius knows how the mind works. The less you have of something, the more of it you want. He only hopes that Remus won’t get smart to Sirius’s brilliant idea and then leave him for it. Sirius knows he wouldn’t be able to live without Remus… Moony is Sirius’s light and dark, his night and day, his everything. He would surely collapse without Remus at his side. 
Whenever Remus finds Sirius snogging a nobody in the Room of Requirements or anywhere actually, Sirius knows that his task is completed. He can have Remus right when the random person is ordered to leave. 
Sirius just loves being in control. He loves controlling his little sluts and whores; he loves controlling the actions of all his friends. Most of all, he loves controlling Remus. He can make Moony do whatever he wants him to do. When Sirius says, ‘jump,’ Remus replies with his usual ‘how high?’  
He likes making Remus fall in love with him over and over. Sirius knows that Remus hates him for it, but how can he let his worst fear come true? How can he knowingly let Remus slip from his fingers? He can’t. 
So he cheats. And he lies. And he pretends. Just like he’s doing now, and two days ago, and the week before, and the month before that.  But nothing ever overcomes his love for Remus, which is all that matters, right? Remus should know that Sirius will always love him beyond anything including his own life. Sirius would do anything for Remus; anything but let him fall out of love. 
As Sirius snogs whoever the hell he’s with, he dreams of Remus. He imagines that it’s his true lover kissing him, that it’s Remus who’s hot breath is on his face as he pulls away to bite his neck.  He’s waiting for his Remus to walk in at any moment, furious and wild.  When he finally gets there, Sirius will be able to ravish him, to make Remus love him again.  
And here he is…flustered and red-faced, Remus walks in and hits the boy he loves across the face.  That’s something he’s never done before.  Sirius is suddenly proud of him, because he’s learning to take control. Of course, he’ll never be allowed to hit Sirius again, but this time it’ll pass. His face stings, but Sirius knows that things will be alright soon.  
They order the boy Sirius was snogging out of the room at the same time.  As he leaves, Sirius stands and wraps his arms around Remus, whispering “I love only you.”  Remus wants to be angry, Sirius can tell that he’s trying hard, but is obviously unable.  Instead, he kisses Sirius’s mouth with tears rolling down his face.  
Sirius does what he has to to keep his lover’s feelings in balance. He feels no regret about it; he only cares for himself and what he needs. To hell with Remus’s feelings; as long as he always feels for Sirius, everything’s alright. 
So yes, Sirius thinks, Remus really is the only one that matters. The others have values in ways they don’t even know, but everything is to keep Remus. He loves me, I know he always will, which works out pretty well for the pair of us. I mean, every relationship needs one person filled with weakness and the other filled with strength. 

What is compromise? Is it when you do something for somebody else? Is it when somebody else does something for you? Is it a bargain, a deal, something you share? Is it helping someone else, while taking something away from you? Does it help you or hurt you? Or is compromising just something friends or lovers need to do to keep each other happy?

Yes, James decides; Remus and Sirius need to make a compromise. James Potter knows that his friends are going through a difficult time in their relationship. Or, more precisely, Sirius is being a bastard and Remus is tired of taking it. Unfortunately for the latter; Sirius is stubborn and will never give up. In addition to that, Moony is much too in love with Sirius to ever consider *staying* angry. He tries with all of his might, but he will never be able to resist Padfoot’s charm and love.

James knows what needs to happen between the pair; it’s obvious. Sirius needs to learn to respect Remus, while Remus needs to…well, Moony isn’t actually doing anything wrong. Sirius just needs to become a better boyfriend so that Moony won’t ditch him.

James is sure that the last straw will break Remus’ very soon, if Sirius isn’t careful. When, not if (if Sirius continues to behave in the way that he is), Padfoot and Moony break up, they will both be broken-hearted and miserable. James sees it coming; he knows how much they care for each other. That is why he needs to save their relationship; he can’t bear to see his two friends lose each other that way. They won’t even be able to survive.

As James sits in his bed and thinks, he hears stirring in the bed beside him. A small sobbing sound is emitting as a quiet argument takes place.

“Remus…calm down! I mean, everything’s alright. Seriously, stop bloody crying.” James hears the mattress sink as Sirius harshly shakes Remus’s distraught body.

The crying gets louder, and James can’t bear it anymore. He casts a charm to make the curtains surrounding the bed invisible; allowing him to see everything that’s going on.

“No, Moony, I didn’t mean that. I love you,” whispers Sirius.

“I hate you! Get off of me and leave me alone!” Remus practically shouts while James sees his body struggling to get out of Sirius’s grasp.

Padfoot moves himself over Remus, holding the latter’s arms above his head. “You don’t mean that. You’re just angry…if you calmed down, you’d realize that I’m right. We love each other, Remus…I love you so much.” He hugs Remus’s stiff figure. When he realizes that the hug isn’t returned, he hugs tighter, hoping to get some response.

“Sirius…piss…off,” Remus speaks, almost gently, as Sirius brings their lips together. Remus immediately brings his hands to Sirius face, trying to push him off. Unfortunately for Remus, Sirius is not only stronger, but also more demanding and controlling. Finally, Remus gives up and lets Sirius do what he wants.

James quickly looks away; he can’t bear seeing his friend hurt like this, nor his two best mates snogging.

It went on for too long. When James looked back over, they were both shirtless and Sirius had moved Remus so that he was completely beneath him. Remus’s legs were wrapped around Sirius’s hips.

James’ blood starts to boil; he can’t take it anymore. How can he possibly let Remus get used and hurt so horribly? James decides that he won’t allow his best mate to damage Remus’ soul anymore, it’s just not fair.

He stands up and walks over to the bed and rips open the charmed curtains, trying his best to make the most noise possible. The pair quickly look up and scamper away from each other, looking extremely violated. “James, mate…we were in the middle of something,” Sirius laughs as if it’s a joke. James keeps his stern, angry expression, and Sirius falters.

“Remus, get out. I need to talk to Padfoot, now.” They both look confused, but obey when they hear the cold voice coming out of James mouth.

James sees the realization hitting Remus’ face as anger flows back into it. Not anger at James, though…anger at his lover who had betrayed him one too many times.

“Sirius, I hate you. Never talk to me again. I’m not joking.” He says it all slowly and in a stern voice, as if worried about the response. He turns, ready to leave, until he whips his upper body back to face Sirius and punches him square in the nose. Blood leaks out and Sirius stumbles backwards. “Thank you,” Remus says to James with a nod before he walks out.

“What the hell, Prongs?” Sirius tries to accuse, though he knows that James isn’t the one in the wrong.

James points his wand quickly at Sirius, healing the wound and cleaning the blood. From there, he doesn’t even know where to begin, so he decides to skip all the preparing and just be blunt. “Sirius, Remus is in love with you,” James sees him smile and nod enthusiastically, obviously oblivious to what the punch meant. “But honestly, he’s not going to if you treat him like trash all the time.” The smile vanishes, but James continues. “He’s going to start hating you, with every ounce of hate in him.” Sirius grimaces; he’s scared of what James is saying. “Don’t you see what you’re doing to him? Sirius, do you really want to throw away all of his love?!”

Sirius falls to his knees and grabs the back of James’ thighs, looking up at him. Tears form in his eyes as he begins to speak; “He can’t…he won’t stop loving me. How could he possibly not love me? I love him so damn much, how doesn’t he love me like I love him, Prongs?” He weeps, hugging James’ knees.

James grabs Sirius by the shoulders and pulls him upright; deciding quickly that speaking cruelly will get the job done better than anything else. “Stop crying, you great blubbering arse. You want him to love you? You’re not doing a very good job of convincing him to; that’s for sure. Quit fucking playing around on him, you prick!”

“But I have to, or he might stop loving me…I have to make him want me, so I have to cheat and get caught and win him back!”

Realization etches itself in the lines of James’ face. He would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so angry. But he was so angry, and this just caused him to have an outburst; “ARE YOU FUCKING MAD? YOU THINK THAT BY HURTING HIM, OVER AND OVER, HE’LL LOVE YOU? YOU COMPLETE GIT, THAT’LL ONLY MAKE HIM HATE YOU MORE AND MORE, EACH TIME. IF THIS KEEPS UP, HE’LL COMPLETELY DISPISE YOU VERY, VERY SOON. DO YOU WANT THAT?”

Sirius falls back down again and sprawls out on the ground. He bawls his eyes out; he can’t even form a proper sentence. James catches attempts at the phrases “love him!”, and “so sorry!”

It is difficult to watch, but James knows better than to intercept Sirius when he is in the middle of an emotional break down. This didn’t happen often; only once, when his mother kicked him out of the house. James tried to help, but got a black eye and a few broken fingers instead.

So James sits on the bed and waits. It takes two hours of patient waiting, but finally Sirius regains his self-control and sits shakily on the bed beside James. The former puts his arm around the latter and says, “Thank you.” He says nothing more and nothing less before he leaves to go find Remus and apologize.

James lets Sirius get a two minute head start before grabbing the Map and his Cloak. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” he whispers quickly as he covers himself in his Invisibility Cloak. He looks at the Map, searching for Sirius’ dot. He sees it running to find Remus. It was ridiculous; why didn’t Sirius take the Map himself? Because he’s a dumb arse, James decides as he starts to run.

He leaves the dormitory and then common room, invisible all the while. He follows the little black dot that’s labeled ‘Sirius Black’ out of the castle and next to the lake, where Remus sits, reading a book with an intense gaze.

“Remus…” Sirius whispers, “I’m so sorry.” He sits beside Moony and rests his head on the other boy’s shoulder. “I love you. I really do. It’s fine if you don’t believe me; I wouldn’t believe me either. I just hope that maybe, in time, you’ll be able to forgive me. I don’t deserve forgiveness, but oh God, I want it. I want to regain your trust, Moony. I want you to love me because you love me, not because I manipulate your mind into doing so. Please, Remus…”

Tears form in Remus’ eyes as Sirius talks; by the end of Padfoot’s little speech, Remus is practically sobbing. “I…I love you, S—Sirius. Bu..but I don’t k-know if I can h-h-handle being with you.”

“But Moony, I can change. I promise to change. Please, Remus, I want…no, I need to be with you. I love you, damn it!”

“How…am…I…sup—supposed to lo—ve you… when you trea—treat me like dirt?!”

“Oh, Remus,” Sirius groans, obviously finding no alternative response. “I’ll change, I promise.” Both James and Remus know that Sirius is close to incapable of changing. At the same time, though, both boys are wondering why Sirius isn’t giving up. Could it be that he actually does love Remus more than anybody else?

“I’m going to prove it to you, Moony. I’m going to prove how much I’m in love with you and that nobody else in the world matters. We’re going to be exclusive; no more sharing each other with anyone. Be in the Great Hall at exactly 7:30, and you’ll realize that I want nothing more than to be with you.”

Sirius runs off, heading into the castle and seemingly in the direction of the Gryffindor common room. James knows why Sirius is going there; he wants to find James. But if James isn’t there before Sirius, he will be in deep trouble. He sprints ahead, as fast as he can, and barely beats his best mate into their dorm, unseen. By the time Sirius makes it in, James is lounged on his bed, face flushed, red, and sweaty.

“I know that Moony are hot together, but can’t you at least close your curtains before having a wank?” Sirius asks with a chuckle. This, James thinks, is the best part of being a Marauder. He loves that no matter how much they fight, the Marauders will always be best friends.

“Oi, it definitely wasn’t you two I was thinking of,” says James, knowing that going along with Sirius will be the best way to stay out of trouble. “Evans is looking pretty damn hot today…” He lets his voice trail off, trying to let Sirius remember his purpose for being there.

Sirius grins stupidly until he realizes that he needs James’ help. “Um…James. I’m in…trouble, let’s say, with Remus.” *As if I don’t know this*, thinks James as Sirius rambles on. “And, you know, I like him a lot, so—”

“You fucking git; you love him. Why the bloody Hell can’t you admit that?” inquires James forcefully.

“Fine, then. I love Remus Lupin. Happy?” James nods with a sly smirk and allows Sirius to continue. “The thing is, I need to prove it to him. And I need to change, Prongs. I want to tell people that it’s just Remus and I; exclusive as can be. But how, Prongs? How can I do that?”

“Alright, so here’s the plan…”

It’s 7:15 exactly when James makes his way down to the Great Hall, getting himself a seat alongside Peter at the over-crowded Gryffindor table. Across from him sits Moony, barely picking at his food, sulking. Every so often, James hears little sniffles coming from his slouched figure.

But everything will be okay soon; James knows it. He and Sirius devised a plan so genius, that Dumbledore himself was going to be dumbfounded.

James checks his watch; 7:29. Showtime. He flicks his wand to start the music to a song he and his best friend discovered while trying to find something Remus would appreciate. James quickly flicks his wand again, muting out the lead singer’s voice.

From out of nowhere, or so it would seem, comes a voice so loud, that it had to have been enhanced by magic.

“One day I will build a fountain
Drink and never grow old
Then I'll market an elixir
that will eliminate the common cold
Find your sickness on my list
Pay up front and make a wish”

Every single student at Hogwarts snaps up their head, looking for the source of the singing. The voice is horrible, but it’s one that Remus Lupin recognizes immediately. James watches him looks around until he finds where the noise is coming from.
James sees the smile spread across Moony’s face when his eyes meet those of Sirius Black. Sirius is standing on the staff table, clad in a leather jacket and more makeup than Narcissa Black. His hair is slicked back, accentuating his red lips and charcoaled eyes. He winks at Remus and goes on with the song, more loudly than before.

“One day I will work with animals
All the tests I'm gonna do
All my stuff's completely natural
And when we're done we'll boil 'em
down for glue
that we can use to re-adhere
your lips to mine if you were here”

James laughs as Sirius runs across the table, back and forth, trying to avoid the teachers. He’s stepping over goblets and plates, but that doesn’t stop him from straining to make his voice so loud that it cracks more and more with each word.

“There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you”

On the word ‘you’, Sirius points directly at Remus, provoking a bit of a gasp from the crowd. He gives another wink and eyebrow waggle before going on.

“I can't stand to wait in line long
So I built a new machine
It just measures up the distance
and then eliminates the folks between”

He jumps off of the staff table, making his way through the isles between each House table. The teachers run after him, but he dodges them easily and runs around the Great Hall.

“One day I'll construct a satellite
and I'll name it after you
'Cause you were the greatest friend of all
except for when you split my lip in two
To see the look upon your face
as I launch you into space”

“There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you”

Sirius continues to dance, shimming his shoulders and shaking his butt; both getting excited screams from his many admirers.

James, though, isn’t concerned with admirers. He turns towards Remus, not sure what to expect. He is positively beaming; his smile alone is what’s lighting up the rest of the Hall.
Before singing the next verse, Sirius skips over to the Gryffindor table and jumps atop it. He runs to where Remus is sitting and kneels in front of him. He holds his wand in front of his mouth and belted out the part of the song that he really truly honestly meant.

“Bye-bye self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you”

At that, Remus burst out crying. Not tears of anger or sorrow, as were usually directed at Sirius, but tears of joy and love.

Sirius scoops Remus up by his armpits so that they are both standing on their House table. He reaches a hand out and touches Remus’ cheek. “I’m sorry, my love.” He moves his hand to the back of Remus’ neck and gently pulls their heads together for a quick kiss. More gasps along with a loud applause emit from their audience.

James flicks his wand again, calling back the singer’s voice to finish the song. Sirius grabs Remus’ face once again, but this time they snog for a good five minutes, much to the awe of those looking.

Some day I will find the secret
to your social chemistry
Then I'll print it on a t-shirt
and it'll make you want to be with me
If I wear it past your work
you'll see other guys are jerks
Much like pheromones for flies
you will not avoid my eyes

Before long, the boys are tugging at each others’ shirts. James knows it’s his duty to step in and direct them to where they need to be. “Oi!” he calls, “People are trying to eat here! Go shag in the dormitory, you wankers. Pete and I will just sleep in the common room tonight.”

There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you

Sirius jumps off the table and raises his hand to help Remus follow. They walk, hand in hand, out of the Great Hall. More applause is followed by merciless wolf-whistling while they continue their walk up to Gryffindor Tower.

Bye-bye self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

Problem solved, thinks James slyly to himself. Now, I’ll just have to make a compromise with Evans to get off of Snivellus and come over to the good side...

Comments are always appreciated.


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